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But as social media continues to become our main form of communication, it feels incumbent upon me to give some guidelines on how to thirst online responsibly.
Here’s how you can talk to women online without being a creeper in the process.
Compliment a cosplayer on how she put her costume together. Ask a good question about something in the photo, so she has something to respond to.
Spend even well – the people who know you well enough to read your tone in text.
This includes pictures that are clearly intended to be sexy – whether they were taken professionally or simply for fun. My friend Arden Leigh is, among her many jobs, a dating coach and professional model. You’re almost never the first person to suggest that maybe she could be a model or how great her legs look or her boobs.
She takes pride in her sexuality and enjoys posting pics where she feels she looks hot. Even “you’re hot” is lame – unoffensive, relatively speaking, but lame.
Snark is the devalued coin of the Internet and sarcasm is a shitty substitute for wit most of the time.
99.999% of the population isn’t going to appreciate it, even when they recognize it at all.
It just says “Yes, I stared at your boobs, but you should know I didn’t like it because I’m a Nice Guy.” If your compliment can be followed up with “m’lady…” then you need to rethink it. There are few things that women find more infuriating than the guy who assumes she’s an idiot.Case in point, she recently shared this picture on Facebook: Nor does it matter that this friend of a friend posted a picture of herself in a bikini or this person you follow on Instagram blogged her party outfit with the deep cleavage. It shows absolutely no imagination, creativity or confidence.Giving a compliment about women’s looks online also tends to carry the unspoken “…so be grateful” appended to the end. Complimenting her becomes less about praise and more about giving their approval.It’s not flattering, it’s not validating and it’s not – then she doesn’t care how she makes your penis feel. Complaining that someone does something for “attention” – whether it’s a selfie, skimpy cosplay or wearing a swimsuit while streaming games on Twitch – is almost always about absolving yourself from getting caught looking. After all, who like to hear that they’re enchanting or that they’re the only cactus in your garden?Even when you leave out the online equivalent of catcalling, making sexual or even overly flirty comments to someone you don’t know is going to be uncomfortable and unwelcome at . However, most men go straight for complimenting a woman’s looks. Under the best of circumstances, complimenting someone’s looks is both boring and unoriginal.Or just sliding into a stranger’s DMs and expecting to get a date out of it.I’ve taught a lot of guys about how to talk to women, online and in person.First rule of trying to talk to women social media: leave your dick out of it. Of course, this inevitably leads to complaints about how “guys can’t compliment women any more.” In fact, I’m glad you brought that up, convenient rhetorical device…There’s nothing more likely to get you shut down than mentioning how turned on you are by somebody’s pics. Paying someone a sincere compliment is a regular part of flirting.Most people couldn’t care less about the rando who thinks that people owe him a debate or argument or his belief that she shouldn’t have done $THING that he disapproves of – whether it’s her tattoos, her clothes, her hair or her lifestyle.Do yourself a favor; reign in your knee-jerk “Someone on the Internet Is WRONG! If she specifically for help or advice, then by all means, contribute.